‘Twas that night of the year again, Christmas Eve. The night everyone locks their doors and barricades the windows with boards to keep the bloodsucking demon in red suit out of the house. This tradition, or charade I should say has been going on for at least a thousand years. Nobody really knows where the Santa Claus came from. Many famous Christmas hunters tried to hunt the beast down before, with none coming back. Even the legendary robot Scrooge tracked to white bearded demon far into the north only to never return. Not too many people have tried to take up the task of slaying him. After all it is hard to catch a demon that flies on a red sleigh pulled by reindeer.
So, every year on Christmas Eve, people have been trying to keep the thing from getting into their houses. Most people do not even have chimneys anymore. It was found by the ancients that he likes to travel down the chimneys and through the fireplace to get in people’s houses. Not having a fireplace does make the winter feel colder. Almost everyone has learned to if they see a present to stay away because it is a trap set by the demon, hard to resist the allure though.
I wonder how the other children are faring this year. I heard that one year a kid’s grandma stayed up all night waiting with her old’ 22 to shoot the guy. She almost made the whole night but then in hot pursuit got run over by Santa’s reindeer. One year some people tried to catch him, but he just transformed into a little sparkle and twinkled away. Another year people tried to determine if Christmas decorations attracted the beast to peoples houses or kept the beast away. Nobody really knows the answer, so we all put them up anyways.
It must be a full moon tonight because the light from behind the boarded windows is seeping through the cracks. Just as I though this a shadow stood in front of the window blocking the light and then disappearing. Must just be the tree branch by my window. Although I cannot recall if I even have a tree nearby. Then I heard a big clatter on the roof. Probably just the snow sliding off of the rooftops. The song Santa Claus Is Coming to Town echoes through my mind as I try to stay awake. “He knows when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake.” THUMP THUMP, it sounds as if someone was walking to my door. I peak at the bottom of the door from my bedcovers and see two shadows blocking the light coming from under the door. The rattling of my doorknob making my palms start to sweat I don’t know who is trying to open my door, but I have no interest in finding out. Echoes of ho ho hos came from my bathroom door straight ahead of my bed. The bathroom lights started to flicker red and green, along with a piercing pounding at the door. In the blink of an eye I see the white bearded demon in his red suit under the arch of my bathroom glaring at me. As he slowly floated over to the edge of my bed, I started to remember everything because I knew this is the end for me.
Slam! The door to my room flew open and six men in pinstripe suits with fedoras armed with machine guns entered the room. One with a cigar in his mouth yelled to the demon “hey, Santa we got you a present!” and the demon laughed Ho Ho Ho. As he said this, guns started blazing all over the room riddling the demon with holes. To which the guy responded “some fresh iron supplements. Merry Christmas Bloodless!”