Wellness Workshop

We all know school can be frustrating and hard to deal with. BU now offers a series of workshops that seek to alleviate some of the stress school produces. One of these workshops is unfortunately only for a limited number of people and therefore students need to reserve their spot. Other workshops are offered for free and have unlimited space. 

The following descriptions and schedules were obtained from the BU website.

Mind Over Mood Anxiety Group 

Must commit to 5 sessions

Receive your own copy of Mind Over Mood

Pre-registration required – $5 to save your seat

Limited space available

Register at Student Services, Rm. 102

When: Wednesdays, 5:00-7:00 pm

Dates: October 9, 16, 23, 30 and Nov. 6, 2019

Mental Health Toolbox

Learn specific tools to cope with stress and anxiety.  Free!

When: October 15, 2019

Where: Rm. 005, basement of McKenzie Building

Time: 2:40 – 3:30 pm

 Mental Health & Wellbeing Workshop

Develop skills specific to first-year students and mental wellness.  Free!

When: October 28, 2019

Where: Rm. 005, basement of McKenzie Bldg.

Time: 1:40 – 2:30 pm

Test Anxiety Workshop

Self-assessment and combating test anxiety skill development.  Free!

When: Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Where: Rm. 005, basement of McKenzie Bldg.

Time: 3:40 – 4:30 pm

Sleep Hygiene Workshop

Stop counting sheep and get some sleep.  Learn the ABC’s of zzzzz’s. Free!

When: Thursday, November 28, 2019

Where: Rm. 005, basement of McKenzie Bldg.

Time: 2:40 – 3:30 pm

Student Workshops: Part 1 (Math and Writing) 

With the first week of school finally ending, students can now look forward to attending various workshops that will help them improve their academic endeavours. Listed below are the various academic workshops that BU offers. While these workshops aim to help students if more assistance is required feel free to reach out to the workshops coordinators and helpers to seek further help.

Writing Skills Workshops

 Writing skills workshops aim to help students improve their essay writing, their grammatical knowledge and their citation skills.  These Workshops are open to all BU students and no Pre-registration is necessary.

The following schedules and descriptions detailing both the writing skills workshops and the math skills workshops come from the BU website.

Essay Basics

Monday September 9, 1:40-2:30

Tuesday September 10, 12:40-1:30

Wednesday September 18, 9:30-10:20

Thursday September 26, 10:10-11:00

Monday October 7, 10:40-11:30

Tuesday October 22, 12:40-1:30

After this workshop, students should be able to identify the basic parts of the essay (introduction, body, conclusion) and describe how they function. Along with the basic structure this workshop will cover the following: purpose of the essay, selecting and narrowing a topic, levels of English and use of scholarly language, formulating a thesis statement (brief introduction), evidence and how is it used, and how to access additional resources both on campus and online.

Grammar Basics

Wednesday October 2, 12:40-1:30

Thursday October 10, 9:00-9:50

Wednesday October 23, 1:40-2:30

Tuesday October 29, 12:40-1:30

After this workshop, students should be aware of the most common grammar errors that students make and have some strategies for how to address these errors. The areas covered will include, but are not limited to comma splice errors, pronouns and agreement, active vs passive voice, proper use of apostrophe, and accessing grammar resources.

Citation Basics (APA, MLA, and Chicago)

Monday September 23, 1:40-2:30

Tuesday October 1, 1:40-2:30

Wednesday October 9, 10:40-11:30

Thursday October 24, 11:40-12:30

Following this workshop, students should demonstrate a basic knowledge of the three most common citation styles used at BU: APA, MLA, and Chicago. Students will see examples of all three styles including in-text citations and Reference, Works Cited, and Bibliography pages. The instructor will highlight online resources and discuss the link between proper citations and academic honesty. We will discuss the strengths and limitations of citation generators, such as EasyBib, RefWorks, and others.

Thesis Statement Basics

Thursday September 19, 10:10-11:00

Wednesday September 25, 11:40-12:30

Monday September 30, 9:30-10:20

Tuesday October 8, 11:40-12:30

This workshop will cover basic aspects of thesis construction, placement, and development. Students will be encouraged to evaluate sample thesis statements to determine their potential effectiveness

Math Skills Workshops

During the first five weeks of each term we offer a series of math Skills workshops targeted to basic mathematical concepts whose knowledge is useful in many first-year courses. Organized on a walk-in basis, these workshops are repeated twice a week to accommodate various schedules. Students who are unable to attend a scheduled workshop are encouraged to make an individual appointment to review the information presented in the workshop.

Walk-in Math Assistance

Walk-in math assistance is available during the fall and winter term (up to the last day of classes) through Math Peer Tutors hired by the Math Department, during times posted on the above link, or on the bulletin board outside the Academic Skills Centre. Students may make use of walk-in assistance in addition to scheduled appointments. Walk-ins should be used for quick questions or clarification. It is advisable that students seeking assistance bring class notes and material with them.

Math Peer Tutor Walk-In Schedule – Fall 2019 – TBA

Individual and Group Appointments

Students are welcome to make appointments for individual or small group assistance with the Math Skills Specialist. Appointments are half hour in length, and students are restricted to no more than two (2) appointments per week and no more than one (1) appointment on any given day. Exceptions to these rules may be accommodated if possible, depending on availability of spaces. It is suggested that students come to the appointments with their class notes and materials, and any special instructions provided by professors

1. Logarithms and their applications in Chemistry

Thursday, September 5 1:40-3:30pm Room 4-34 BB Friday, September 6 1:40-3:30pm Room 4-34 BB

2. Fractions. Rational Expressions. Rational Equations

Tuesday, September 3 12:40-1:30 pm Room 1-53 BB

3. Mean, Median, Mode and Standard Deviation

Tuesday, September 10 12:40-1:30 pm Room 1-53 BB

4. Logarithms. Logarithmic Expressions. Logarithmic Equations

Tuesday, September 17 12:40-1:30 pm Room 1-53 BB

5. Calculus I

Tuesday, September 24 12:40-1:30 pm Room 1-53 BB

As students can see BU offers a lot of workshops during a lot of different times and days. Help is always there if you need it so feel free to drop by and ask for it.

PSA: Health and Dental Opt-Out

The deadline for opting out of or in to the Health and Dental Plan provided by BUSU is September 27, 2019.  Students enrolled in 12 credit hours of studies are automatically enrolled. For information see busu.com/healthplan or email officeassistant@busu.ca or call 204-727-9660.


Art Bleeds into Itself

I have said many times to people that “if the art you are making pisses people off then you are doing something right.”  Why is this the case?

There have always been countercultures to whatever is mainstream. Whether this is because of humans being naturally non-conformist or some people drifting towards iconoclasm doesn’t really matter. Countercultures come about in response to what has come before. It can be to a culture’s benefit. New art forms and new styles emerge in response to what came before.   Progressive House music can be a good example of this. In a broad generalization, Progressive House music was rejected by mainstream music for some time, while many rebellious teenagers fell in love with this new unusual music that had not been heard before. 

Music, like many other art forms, is trend based. The “new” type of art tends to supplant the previous top art form and, in many cases, uses elements from the previous forms in new compositions. In other words, each iteration combines older forms together to create something new and in turn becomes somewhat more complex. Just look at the most popular music genres overtime. Classical to jazz then jazz to rock like music and so forth. It almost seems like an unconscious desire to make things better than drives art to a new level, which as a side effect gives rise to a new art form.  

One thing that makes new art forms more captivating is the incorporation of technology. Long ago, humans might have only ever played music with one instrument perhaps a drum of some sort. This would sound pleasant and eventually become popular worldwide. Then someone will discover another instrument such as a wind instrument and create a melody to match the drumbeat, at first it might perhaps be seen as unusual and then repeating the same trend as before becoming more popular than just pure drum music. If we skip a couple hundred thousand years, we will reach what we would call modern music, which if we look at all the most popular music of today, we will see they all use multiple instruments, if not multiple variations of instruments that did not exist before. If you ask anyone today probably almost all people would rather listen to a pop some then some regular repetitive drumbeat. Even if very complicated percussion music still exists in many cultures and is enjoyed. 

From this we can conclude that some of today’s art forms would be completely out of reach simply because of the technological restrictions. In a way lack of technology limits our imagination and ability to see new things. If we went back to the 1600s and said to some artists from that time that I am a movie maker, they would think I am are a complete lunatic! And yet in our current time movies theatres are far more popular than an art gallery, but of course this is not solely because of the technology, so why have movies become more popular?

The answer to this is actually quite simple. Take a look at Henri Cartier-Bresson’s photograph Man Jumping the Puddle, now watch Eadweard Muybridge’s Sallie Gardner at a Gallop. What is the man difference between these works of art that caused one to become more popular? The answer is movement, or successive sequential changes of moments in time. Now compare, Sallie Gardner at a Gallop to Casablanca. What is different now? It is not storytelling because all three tell a story. Answer: sound. Casablanca has another form of art synchronized with it. The art of sound. By now you might have started to notice a trend between the previous most popular art form and the next; each new art form is a combination of previous art forms. 

From this we can gather that the next iteration of art will contain parts of other art forms. Aside from technology this is key to creating a new masterpiece. Sculptures are appealing, so is architecture. What can be more appealing and attractive is if you combined sculpting with architecture. Look at Michelangelo’s David then look at Frank O. Gehry’s design of Friedrich R. Weisman Museum of Art. Or watch Sallie Gardner at a Gallop then watch La La Land. You will start to see this idea tend to be true. It might seem impossible to ever comprehend what the ultimate art is or let alone imagine it, but it has been staring at us from the beginning. What (to most people) has perfect synchronicity between sight, sound, touch, and taste? Water waves. Almost no sculpture, painting, or song, can even begin to be compared with an ocean waves. Even then, the ocean wave is not quite at the final iteration of art, it is missing a few things. Like a story, etc. So, what is it?

The ultimate art form is to perfectly simulate life; as in the entire universe with all of its complexity. Because it is the only thing that has every element as a part of it.  

By N.Monk, the unofficial philosopher

Financial Tips For Student

As a student, money can be difficult to acquire, but here a free tips to help you out; 

Build your credit history. In today’s world, the importance of credit can be found in almost every aspect of life. From applying for a credit card to purchasing a car, your credit score is used to determine your creditworthiness. As a young adult, you should always be conscious of how most financial decisions affect your credit score. If you don’t already have a credit card, you should get one. Having a credit card in your name, even if you don’t buy anything, will help you establish credit and the longer you have a credit history, the better. 

Be mindful of your spending habits. If this is your first crack at financial freedom, don’t start charging anything and everything. Does this sound like you? Try your best to avoid impulse purchases, and when you do use your credit card, make sure you’ll be able to pay it off when the bill comes. 

Take advantage of every discount and savings opportunity. Aside from learning how to manage your money, young people need to learn how to make every penny count. Look for student discounts when making in-store and online purchases. Many retailers offer a reduced rate or promos for students only, for example, Apple gives student discounts for new computers. Research your go-to spending spots to see if they offer student discounts or save money by using a cashback site like TopCashback.com to shop Urban Outfitters, UberEats, Textbooks.com and more.

Learn to budget. Most students get their first glimpse at financial freedom during college via part-time jobs or side hustles. It’s important to learn how to properly manage your new-found wealth so you’re never left wondering, ‘Where did my money go?’ A personal budget is key to properly put future income towards expenses, savings, and debt repayment. A basic budgeting tool that is made for progress is the 50/20/30 rule. Spend only up to 50 percent of your after-tax income on essentials, such as housing (aka your dorm or off-campus apartment); 20 percent on financial priorities, such as debt repayments and savings; and 30 percent on lifestyle choices, such as vacations and late-night food runs with your BFFs. Effective money management is key to living a healthy financial life and achieve financial independence.

A Food Bank For Student

At BUSU there is a food bank every Friday, from 1 pm until 4pm. This food bank is designed to help students. It doesn’t matter if you are single, living in residence, or a student with a family. As long as you have your student ID card, you will be given food and occasionally toiletries from the third floor BUSU food bank. 

So if you have need, then go for it. 

SafeTALK: Suicide Alertness for Everyone

One of the upcoming events taking place at the university is SafeTalk. It aims to prepare anyone over the age of 15 to help identify people with thoughts of suicide and connect them to suicide first aid resources.  

Most people with thoughts of suicide invite help to stay safe. Alert helpers know how to use these opportunities to support that desire for safety. With this training, you will be better able to move beyond common tendencies to miss, dismiss or avoid suicide; to identify people who have thoughts of suicide; and to apply the TALK steps (Tell, Ask, Listen, and KeepSafe) in order to connect a person with suicidal thoughts to suicide first aid and/or intervention caregivers.

It takes placeTuesday, September 17th @ 5:30 pm - 8:30 pm in Louis Riel Room, McMaster Hall. 

If this is something that interests you, you need to apply online through brandonu.ca. Helping someone with suicidal thoughts through knowledge and training is good mental health care. 

Student Fees Explained

As a new school year begins, and as we scramble to pay our tuition before the due date, we are reminded again that even though BU is one of the most affordable universities in the country, there are still a lot of student fees that pile on. 

While we may wonder what all the fees mean and what purpose they serve let us not forget that they allow us to continually use the services they contribute to and thus allow us to have an overall better university experience.

These fees help with maintenance around campus, they contribute to various services students use every day and of course they include tuition. Listed below you will find a list of all the student fees we are expected to pay and their purpose.  

TUITION FEES

(Each of the following fees are per 3 credit hours)

Faculty of Arts $373.65 

Faculty of Education $380.25

School of Music $396.90

Faculty of Science $405.75 

Faculty of Health Studies $413.25

Late Tuition fee  $30.00

B.U.S.U FEES

The Brandon University Student Union offers a lot of services that require a lot of contribution from students. Their services allow students to obtain a health and dental plan if they choose to do so, their fees also provide a bus pass while the other fees help support various groups around campus.

Building $10.74 per 3 credit hours 

This fee goes towards maintenance.

BUSU $11.10 per 3 credit hours

This fee goes towards B.U.S.U and their needs.

CFS $7.78-15.56 depending on how many credit hours, after 18 hrs $15.56 is charged.

This fee goes towards the Canadian Federation of Students.

Quill Levy $6.17-12.34 depends on credit hours. After 18 hrs $12.34 is charged.

This fee goes towards The Quill maintenance. WUSC $15.00 per 3 credit hours.

This fee goes towards the World University Service of Canada. This committee plays an important role in contributing to the SRP (Student Refugee Program) their contributions allowed for refugee students to pursue post-secondary education. 

Health and Dental plan $250.00 

Can opt in or out if you want to.

This fee is automatically added to your tuition however it can be reimbursed if you choose to opt out of this service. In order to opt out you need to provide proof that you have coverage through another institution. You can also opt in if you choose and you will receive coverage through BU. If you do not opt in or out by the deadline the fee will still be charged. Therefore make sure you know when the deadline is and whether or not you need it.

U-pass $20.00 (per year)

This fee goes towards a bus pass for students that can be accessed by simply scanning your BU ID when you’re boarding the bus.

OTHER FEES

Tech Fee $19.05 per 3 credit hours 

Student Services $11.55 per 3 credit hours 

Registration fee $15.00 per 3 credit hours 

ID Card Fee $39.60- $79.20. 

After 18 credit hours $79.20 is charged. This fee allows each BU student to be able to get an ID card. This ID card can be used to gain access to the HLC and is often required when taking an exam. 

Copyright Fee $2.70 per 3 credit hours.

While these fees may seem unnecessary, they still very much contribute to providing each student with the best possible post secondary education experience. 

It is very important to know deadlines and it is important to have an idea of what your are being charged. The fees can vary year by year therefore it is important to always look through your financial statement and see whether new fees have been added or otherwise changed.

Services At BU

Brandon University offers a variety of services for students during their time at the University. This article will cover a few of those services:

Counselling: Brandon University has two counsellors, Sherry Sawatzky-Dyck who can be reached at 204-727-7391 or sawatzkydycks@brandonu.ca and Marsha Harris who can be reached at 204-727-9779 or harrism@brandonu.ca. Some of the “wellness topics” they cover are things like stress, crisis response, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief and loss, sexual assault, eating problems and sleep. The use of these services while you are a student is free. There are also a few wellness workshops that run through the year, such as a Mental Health Toolbox workshop and a Mind Over Mood Anxiety Workshop. More details on the counselling services BU offers and the workshops can be found on BU’s website: https://www.brandonu.ca/personal-counselling/

Academic Advising: Academic advising is mandatory for new students at Brandon University and suggested for all students to make sure they stay on track and take all of the courses they need to graduate. Academic advisors will not only make sure you have all of your required courses but can also help you select important courses for if you wanted to go on to get another degree. Academic advising is located in room 102, of the A. E. McKenzie Building. 

Indigenous Peoples’ Centre: The Indigenous Peoples’ Centre offers academic support, transition supports, cultural and spiritual support including events like the Graduation Pow Wow, as well as personal and social support. They have computer access, free soup on certain days of the week, as well as Knowledge Keepers. The IPC is a safe space for students of all backgrounds to come and relax or find support. The office is located between the Library and Student Services. 

Career Planning and Placement: The Career Planning and Placement office offers a variety of services to students on campus. They have a “jobs board,” hold career fairs, offer assistance with resume writing and hold workshops throughout the year. This is a great resource if you are someone who is still undecided on their major as well as they can talk with you about career goals and what degree might put you on the right track. The Career Planning and Placement office is located in room 115 in the A. E. McKenzie Building. 

The Office of International Activities: This office is a support for international students at Brandon University. They offer information for international students, Canadian students, exchange opportunities and information about recruitment agents and representatives. This office is located on the basement of McMaster Hall. 

Student Accessibility Services: Student Accessibility Services works with students to make their university experience inclusive. They work with people with different types of disabilities or who face academic challenges. Any student wishing to seek academic accommodation are encouraged to reach out the Student Accessibility Services office which is located in room 106 of the A. E. McKenzie Building. 

Brandon University Students’ Union: BUSU is located in the Knowles Douglas Building. They offer many services such as printing, the Paw Pass (a local discount system for students), a food bank, advocacy, room bookings, and much more! They also hold various events through the year, including a Clubs Day at the start of both terms that encourages students to get out there and meet new people. Pop up to the BUSU office to meet the team and learn more about what they can do for you. 

Healthy Living Centre: BU students get a gym membership at the Healthy Living Centre for free (and by free, I mean it is included in your tuition). Take advantage of this service by popping over to the front desk of the HLC and asking them to help you get set up to use the gym. 

This is just a snapshot of the services offered at BU. There are workshops available throughout the year alongside many of these services. Visit the BU website to learn more about these services that are available to you as a student here at BU and have a great academic year! 


Brandon Knights Chess Club Champion

At Brandon University, we have a number of clubs and student organizations to be a part of. One of our own writers who creates our chess puzzles, is also a part of the Brandon Knights Chess Club at the university. N.Monk is someone who enjoys chess and the analytics of the games. 

Occasionally there are chess tournaments for those who attend the university club. In the most recent tournament, N.Monk won first place in his section of the tournament. As a result of his success, he will be participating in a memorial tournament at the University of Winnipeg. 

2019 Abe Yanofsky Memorial will be taking place from August 31 to Sept 1. Daniel Abraham Yanofsky was the first Manitoban grandmaster who lived in Winnipeg his entire life. He also got a degree in science at the University of Manitoba and became a lawyer. 

There is a surprising amount of physical training that goes into preparing for chess tournaments. It requires a lot of endurance, similar to a two-hour exam at university. Also studying games of previous world champions is important. Studying with a Chess AI would not work as well as studying actual games and players. 

By the time this article is published, the tournament will have passed by. So here is hoping that our champion does well in Winnipeg. 

For those interested in chess can meet with the Brandon Knights Chess Club at Harvest Halls on Saturdays during the school year. 

chess tournament winner

Starting Your Own Dragon Hoard

Making your own origami dragons. For when you want to be the mother of dragons but quite frankly just don't have the motivation or blood magic to do so.

1.Take a square sheet of paper- preferably origami paper but really if we were in the position to be picky we wouldn't be fiddling with paper to start our hoard in the first place.

Fold said sheet of paper in half both ways unfolding after each side, and folding in half both sides diagonally.

2. Hold your paper at a diamond perspective and start to fold both sides in. Then flatten the top of the peak shape that has formed and it should hopefully make a diamond shape.

3 fold each side of the diamond into the center crease. Do this on both sides and then unfold them.

4. Open up the top flap of the diamond and fold the sides in, then fold the flap down. Do this with the other side.

5. Taking the top flap of each side fold them up and then to each side.

Fold the top flap in on itself to make a wing. And fold it to either side. Do this on both sides.

6. Now pick either side that isn't the wings to be the head and the tail. For both of these you might want to make them slimmer by folding each side of the head or tail into the crease.

You can then fold it upwards.

7. Tail: For the tail you can curl it (if you'd like)

Head: For the head you fold the point at a 90 degree angle and snip off the sharp point to make a squarer mouth.

8. Last but not least take the wings and fold them up at an angle so they point towards the tail.

And if any of that made sense then there you have it! Your very own dragon!

The Minions Behind The Crown: Best Armies 

So you’re aspiring to be the next ruler of The Iron Throne, eh? Well, in that case chances are you won’t be the one actually running around with a sword in your hand, and while you can handle the diplomatic talks someone is going to have to handle the fighting. So, what’s really the best army around? For your consideration this article will present the pros and cons of two polarized types of warriors: the classic living human, or the edgy undead. 

Pros of a human army: 

  1. Won’t lose limbs. 

  2. Aren’t animated by a power you don’t understand. 

  3. You don’t have to constantly worry about standing upwind from them. 

Pros of a zombie army: 

  1. Edgy. 

  2. No rations needed, quick way to save on the grocery bill. 

  3. If they get stabbed, they won’t actually die. Quick way to save on your doctor’s bill. 

Now for the downsides of the two. 

Human army: 

  1. They need constant looking after. Like food and water. Some medical attention.

  2. Might revolt due to their possession of a functioning mind and will. 

  3. Monetary compensation will be expected. While some way believe in your claim to the throne, others are just there to pay the bills. 

Zombie army: 

  1. Might try to eat you. 

  2. Highly flammable. No torches, campfires, or particularly hot weather allowed. 

  3. Poor conversation skills. All those dramatic and inspiring speeches you’ve prepared are going to go over their heads. 

So really, it’s a personal preference. Humans are tried and true, and (while sure there’s an entire organization and giant wall dedicated to keeping zombies out) undead are an effective option. Of course, additional considerations should be given such as to the end result of your enterprise. Humans will settle down relatively quickly once they’ve been paid, and you’ll have a loyal guard prepared. Undead on the other hand might try to eat the citizens of your new kingdom. 

Good luck with your campaign either way!

What House Are You?

Ever wondered which of the seven great houses of Westeros you’d belong to? Well, this guide is here to help place you in your twisted version of your Hogwarts house. The guide will describe the characteristics of each of the houses, the one that is closest to describing you is your match! 

House Stark: Honor, honor, with a light sprinkling of honor. This house has an obsession with the weather and a tendency to look on the dark side of life! These half frozen people are a good choice for those with a pessimistic outlook and notoriously bad luck. 

House Targaryen: Never gotten over your dragon phase? Do you have dubious mental state leaning toward insanity? Is entitled and arrogant two phrases used to describe you? If yes, this house might just be the right fit for you. 

House Greyjoy: Are you a terrible person with a love for the sea?

House Martell: This house may no longer exist but that doesn’t mean their ideals don’t! Are you just trying your best in a world on fire? Brave and foolhardy this house is not for the faint of heart. 

House Lannister: Ambitious, deceptive, with a particularly disturbing means of displaying affection for their siblings. This house is particularity determined in their goals, with morals often not being a concern of theirs. 

House Tyrell: Good at political games with an added dedication to the aesthetic, this house plays like a Lannister with the goals of a Martell. 

House Baratheon: Terrible at politics, leading, possessing little to no charisma, yet possessing an impressive talent for hitting things. This house is essentially the jocks of Westeros. 


Self Sacrifice For Dummies

For this article we will be addressing the ever present need for self-sacrifice. Figures far and wide in Westeros have both mastered and failed at this important trope, so here’s a guide on how to make the most of your final flailing.

  1. Don’t be Ned Stark. When sacrificing oneself- do not place your faith in a preteen King with psychotic tendencies. 

  2. Remember, it’s only self-sacrifice if you’re sacrificing yourself, siblings, loyal allies, and random citizens don’t count. 

  3. Had a moment of foresight and saw your moment of sacrifice? Devote your life to your predestined duty of dutiful death. Can’t forget if you only remember it.  

  4. Guarding the lives of various political figures is a sure way to die. It’s the classic way to get that self-sacrificial role, they’ll leave you behind to flee from danger or send you into a hopeless battle and boom- you’re dead. 

Now for the dramatics. Sure, it’s noble and everything no one is debating that. However, there’s no reason one can’t go out without a little bit of flair. Sarcastic and witty commentary is always a good fall back for those more rogue individuals, or maybe stoic silence in the face of adversity. Dramatic monologues are valid, a little overdone but it’s your moment so go ahead and curse the name of your enemy in whatever deity’s name or share a moment of moral insight. More physical expressions of defiance would include: 

  1. Spitting in the face of your enemy. Gross but effective. 

  2. Flip them off, give them the bird. Let your nonverbal gestures do the talking for you. No worries of misinterpretation here. 

  3. Start dancing. Comedic relief is important. 

  4. Laugh- destroy your adversaries moral. 

Remember though, while this is a brief guide of self-sacrifice “For Dummies” this is an activity that should only be taken on by professionals or those plot relevant. Those individuals include: Members of a royal family outcast or otherwise, those close to a royal figure, those employed by someone with aspirations of royalty.

Happy sacrificing! 

How To Win A Melee Tournament

When a special occasion arises such as a wedding, name-day, or Honour ceremony, one can only expect to be invited to a tourney.

A tourney or tournament is a celebratory event typically hosted by noble houses, in which several competitive contests are held such as: Jousting, Archery, Axe Throwing, Horse Racing, or a Melee.

A Melee is a competition with two or more men using swords, axes or maces to engage in combat. The goal of this competition is to knock the opponent over and be the last person or team standing, while trying your best to avoid accidentally decapitating your opponent (which is frowned upon in this particular circumstance).

So which is the best weapon to accomplish this task? Certainly not a sword, in which accidental evisceration can occur, maybe an axe though the same could be said for it. My personal choice would be a mace.

Maces come in many different shapes and sizes, and can come with different knobs or flanges on the top part of the weapon. There is such thing as two handed maces!

Now imagine being in combat with a sturdy long bodied mace set to stun. What is the best way to take the opponent down from here? With many options to choose from here are a few: 

  • Closing ones eyes ad swing wildly using the strength and ambition of a person who’s had one too many drinks and not early enough bread to counteract it?

  • Standing still until your opponent is close and startling them with a sudden high pitched scream proceeding to attack while they’re confused and disoriented. 

  • Making an actual plan of attack, assuming you will be partaking in a group battle with your fellow army men. Taking the strongest opponents out first and finishing with the weakest links that are left last on the field of battle with no support to save them.

What ever strategy or lack there of you choose. It is sure to be a battle of drunk laughter, merriment and cheers from the crowd. Not to mention the ache of regret the next morning when that post tourney hangover sets in.

Becoming A Mother Of Dragons

So you want to become a mother to your own army of powerful dragons?

Excellent! Dragons are wonderful creatures, powerful and fearsome and overall loyal to their parents.

To become a mother to Dragons there are some crucial steps you must follow.

  • First you must find some eggs to make your own. Using Danaerys as our direct and awesome example, one might receive them as a wedding gift. Great! An easy no muss no fuss kinda situation.

  • Next is to keep your eggs warm and hatch them, this also includes some blood magic. Hatching your new dragon egg will mean taking the life of another on a pyre and getting in and out of the flames unscathed. Simple really.

  • Once your dragons have been successfully warmed and hatched, and have imprinted on you like ducklings to whatever might be standing nearest to them at the time. It is then necessary to feed them. Your dragons will require livestock and a lot of it. I suggest making really good friends with a shepherd.

  • Although dragons can't be domesticated, they can be persuaded into following commands much like a dog. If you can train a dog why not a dragon? Dragons can and will respond to voice commands if given the time and patience to allow them to learn. If all else fails, earn the dragons trust and affection by bribing them. Much like a cat. 

  • By following these easy steps laid out by the true Mother of dragons Danaerys Targaryen then you too can become a mother of dragons or an off brand kahleesi.

Sexual Education On Campus: An Update

In September I had written an article about the outdated, and mostly lack of sexual education posters around campus and while the outdated poster about Chlamydia is still on the bathroom stall doors, there has been a response from student services.

After the article had come out, Katie Gross; Dean of Students took notice and shortly after reached out to SERC (Sexual Education Resource Center) here in Brandon. Due to staff changes there was a delay but eventually SERC was able to provide the university with some new posters for the campus pertaining to sexual health. There are plans to continue adding more new posters to the campus in order to educate students or to give them information they need. Mrs. Gross also pointed out that the Peer Wellness Coordinators of Brandon University are the ones to put up the posters in places other students can access them, and both she and I thank them for their help.  

There is also the hope that student services will be able to reach out to the public health authority, who have no affiliation with the university, to possibly have a public health nurse provide office hours on campus. Another possibility is to have workshops set up in the same way that students have workshops for test anxiety and stress. If it can be set up, then sexual education and resources could be a workshop available in the new September semester.

As I was speaking to Mrs. Gross, I asked what students could do in the meantime. There are a number of places that students can reach out to. First are of course student services where students can make appointments with one of two student counselors, and if any issues related to sexual health come up then the counsellor can refer the student to Prairie Mountain Health or suggest going to see their family doctor. Secondly, students can go to a professor that they trust who can then help mentor them in a direction that will be helpful. A third option is to go directly to the SERC office here in Brandon.

Sexual education and health are an important part of university wellness and the fact that there is more information being placed around campus and acts of change for sexual education are happening over time; is a good development of knowledge students can obtain. 

Do not be afraid to ask questions.

Mastering The Art Of Losing

We all know the feeling we get when we are so close to winning that sport, completely acing a test, when we have been grinding away for hours on some craft only to in the end mess up or fall just too short of the goal. It makes us feel angry, stupid, maybe even like a worthless pile of trash. You start thinking to yourself maybe I am dumb, maybe I am weak and lazy. Maybe I am inferior. 

Perhaps these things are true, but the problem is our attitude towards mistakes and failures. Some readers will start immediately thinking I am just going to say we need to learn from our mistakes and see them as learning opportunities, or some cheap cliché like that. Actually, I think that is also not a good attitude either. These moments should be seen just as you see something as a success. Some winners are the greatest losers of all time, and some losers are the greatest winners of all time.

 What do I mean by this? I am not saying exactly that you have to lose many times to become a winner, although I will return to this later. I am saying winning is easier than losing. To win everything with no mistakes or inaccuracies is much easier than doing everything incorrectly and failing every time. Think about it this way. Let’s say you were playing a sport like basketball, and you won made every shot you took. How hard would that be? Seems impossible right? Well compare making every shot to missing every shot even though you have been practicing everyday for ten hours. How hard would it be to keep playing basketball after that? How hard would it be to keep playing if you just won 1st? Making every shot doesn’t look so hard now does it? 

Winning is easier because it reinforces the behaviour to keep playing. Losing reinforces the behaviour to stop playing. It’s harder to keep playing the game when you are losing. There is a metaphor in there. The real winners are those who keep playing the game when their minds and other people are telling them to stop playing. I quite would like to see an incredibly successful person mess up so badly that they what to quit, and I want to see them dance out of that rabbit hole. 

This is why some of the greatest champions are losers. They are champions because they lost so many times and kept on going, they kept on playing the game. And the greatest losers are those who stopped playing on. The hero is always born in the darkest part of the journey never the brightest part. 

If you are thinking, “well what if person A is better than person B in everyway, then what is the point of person B?” Asking this question will forever make you feel trapped. The burden of proof is on the wrong side. A better question is: if person A is better than person B in everyway, then what is the point of person A? Answer, the purpose of winners is to get losers to keep playing on. To inspire people to keep on moving forward. If everyone wins then nobody plays. Why do you think nobody plays tick tack-toe-anymore? Conclusively, don’t look at champions as those who were successful, look at champions as those who didn’t quit. 

N. Monk the Unofficial Philosopher


Wearing Green This Holiday

Time to scramble through your closet looking for something green to wear in honour of St. Patricks Day. But what to do if you find you have nothing green to wear? 

You could ask your friends to borrow something to wear, use some food dye or permanent marker to wreak havoc on some poor white article in your closet, or dart over to a thrift store to grab a shirt. If none of these are working, here’s a more daring alternative: body paint in the nude. 

Grab some body paint and go wild. Then, as a means to both celebrate the warming weather whilst simultaneously acknowledging that this is in fact Manitoba and the bar for warmer weather is pretty low, do a mad dash in all your green-nudist-mildly-inebriated glory. I’d recommend some sort of undergarments of course, less out of concern for the individual partaking in this particular event as they will be having more pressing problems shortly, but rather to spare the eyes of those unfortunate enough to witness this newfound all-natural tradition. 

And who says you have to stop at body paint? Toss some glitter in there, green streamers to attach to your nipples, a cape, a hat, maybe even a mask to cover up your face so your parents don’t end up realizing that studying isn’t the only thing you’re doing at university. 

Partake in some of the spirits of the holiday (ex. Whiskey, and more whisky? Some Lucky Charms maybe. Whisky and Lucky Charms smoothie? Who cares, you’re streaking on a religious holiday God holds no power here.) as a means to gain motivation and liquid courage. Grab a friend and make it a group activity. Whatever your decision, don’t forget to wear green this St. Patty’s Day!

Cheating The System

While advice for amassing your own pot of gold to hide away is sadly beyond reach (unless chocolate gold coins count), in the spirit of this gold encased holiday let’s talk about taking advantage of holiday themed treats. 

Each holiday retailers are frantic to get consumers to spend hard earned cash or digital funds on seasonal themed goods. For instance, Valentine’s Day had chocolate ranging up and down the aisle in cute little hearts, affection is bought after all, then the next day they place all of it on sale. Within days of that Easter takes over the scene with the occasional nod to the in between holidays like St. Patty’s Day. 

So take advantage of this weakness in the system. Wait a day after the holiday- don’t fall for those fake day before sales, wait for those desperate clear-out sales that’ll give you the most bang for your buck. Think, if you wait a mere day after the fact it’s like boxing day for every minor seasonal money grab. 

pc; https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1368929

Expensive stuffed toys? Fancy and financially straining treats!?!? Seize the means of production and make it yourself! Grab a pre-made brownie mix and add extra chocolate, search the ground for dropped treats. Pinch those pennies till they’ve made like coal and turned to diamonds. 

All the leprechaun does is run around one day of the year and chill at the end of the rainbow with his pot of gold- and you too can have this means of financial fulfillment. Hoard up that money in a stray cooking pot or classic money jar and watch the money grow until you’re set up to flee into the wilds and live at the end of rainbows.