The idea that the ones closest to us will eventually leave this earth is a major aspect of life to grasp and come to terms with. We as humans want to believe that the people around us will live forever. While death is inevitable, it can also give life its beauty.
In my personal experience, understanding grief and loss has been such a long journey that is always changing. In the past couple of years, I have experienced a great deal of people close to me passing, and it has been an extremely difficult and emotionally tolling experience. When it comes to grieving, it is important that people find effective ways to cope. I have accumulated a list of ways that may help someone in need of a solution: maintaining boundaries, practicing relaxing strategies like deep breathing and meditation, physical activity, setting goals, or having a creative outlet.
Many detailed resources can be found online from helpful professionals about what grief might look like and healthy ways to cope. One highly recommended source is, “Coping with Grief and Loss-Stages of Grief, the Grieving Process, and Learning to Heal” by Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. These effective strategies can help those grieving find a positive outlook while navigating through emotional challenges.
Personally, I have found comfort in processing my feelings through poetry. Using poetry, I can use symbols and metaphors to explain my feelings that I cannot quite put so easily into simple terms. The poem I wrote below was inspired by my grandpa's passing and captures my struggle to grasp the idea that he is gone and what that means. I found myself in a continuous loop, asking myself the same questions. Is there an afterlife, and is he there? What does the afterlife look like for me if I find myself not in line with religion?
My poem's purpose is to promote asking questions in times of uncertainty. Like when one may feel like they do not align with specific beliefs, or the thought of an afterlife may seem scary and perplexing. I hope that my poem can help someone out there who may be having the same feelings and can find comfort in not being alone.
The Encompass of Brumal Fear
By: Kylee Botten
Frozen lie the bodies,
Fearful, shivering with regrets.
Unbeknownst to the truth of death.
What becomes of souls?
Those who do not reside in the assurance of
a creator—
Those seeking more than the muse of religion.
Do they find comfort in the same After existence?
The unanswered questions loom:
Where will I go if not where you go?
What is the difference between my stature and yours? Those who believe in more than what is perceptible Live without hesitation about their After.
Yet, frozen, desolate,
Still lie the bodies of the fearful,
Uncovering nothing of what they believe to be their After.
When time comes—
And there is no doubt that it shall—
Will they commiserate with their past selves, Or indulge in the unknown of the After?