Asking for a blessing is sometimes seen as a rudimentary and downright barbaric act by some people in western society. They see it as a demeaning and outdated practice. To many people as long as they say “Yes,” to the time old question, “Will you share my bed, so we can make babies?”, it is enough that their parents don’t have to be involved. I say nonsense! Who else will supply baby-sitters and Christmas gifts for little ones? Parents and potential “in-laws” must be involved with the baby making process! Let’s take a look at history and just how involved families have gotten with the making of miniatures.
In older times and foreign lands, sometimes families were very involved with this process of family extension. It started with the fathers of a household talking. Eventually deciding on value in the form of “Your son’s right to my daughter’s vagina is equivalent to ten head of cattle. Oh and I can use your land out by the sea, and you can name our first grandchild after your favourite horse.” The fathers would then see to the unification of their families. No blessings were really needed as no one got to decide besides the ones really involved with baby making, the old men!
Sometimes though the family was not all about a dowry and alliances between houses, sometimes it was just about getting more free labour. Back out on the farm (if you listen to how your baba and gidi tell it) they worked hard day and night for the farm. In the day they were plowing, seeding and fertilizing the land. And at night they were plowing, seeding and fertilizing again. Then poof, out came more children then they knew what to do with. So they used them as labour, married them off to distant farmers or got them to join the nunnery. Far too expensive any other way for one family. Blessings were not required here either as workers were needed in the fields and the more grand babies, the more labourers.
It’s only fairly recently that blessings have been based on much more than wealth or family status. To me, it’s very important to keep constant communication between potential family members. That way they know where two people are in a relationship and whether they need to invest in sound proofing the extra bedroom walls, so when you and your significant other visit you can have loud sex. Or whether they need to sound proof the extra bedroom walls so they don’t have to wake up every fifteen minutes when grand baby is crying at night.
In all seriousness though it is truly a beautiful thing when two people fall in love. Maybe they are the type to ask for blessings from their spouses parents, maybe they’d prefer making sure that their relationship lasts for a long time. To me asking for blessing is much more than just asking permission. It allows for a safe and smooth transition unto the next adventure in a young couples lives.