Dear Glow Cloud,

Why did you pick BU to inhabit? Aren’t there more thrilling locations for an omnipresent being?

Curious Cat

Dear Cat,

Did you know that curiosity can kill you? You should probably stop being so curious, for the sake of your own health.

As to why I chose BU, it’s simple—the tuition rates are low, and student apathy is relatively high. Have you ever asked yourself ‘should I be concerned that this omniscient, incorporeal cloud lives in the basement of my school?’ I bet not. If you have, you clearly haven’t cared enough to follow up on it. It allows me to live my life in peace—and makes it all the more effortless to eavesdrop on important meetings.

All Hail,

Almighty Glow Cloud

Republished from The Quill print edition, Volume 107, Issue 18, January 17, 2017.